I found a half-crumpled
propaganda pamphlet back at my pharmacy
the other day. It's entitled Incredible Puberty Facts.
Seriously. I'm not kidding. On the
front is a cartoon depiction of an
11-year-old homeboy pointing to an
oversized sprout of underarm hair that
he apparently grew overnight. On his
face is quite the look of horror and
angst. Yeah, if I had a small cactus
growing out from under my arm I'd be
freakin' too.
Some of the quotes from
inside the pamphlet:
While boys often learn
about masturbation from other boys,
girls usually learn to masturbate on
their own……("Hey Joey, can you show
me that grip again?")
It's not that unusual for
one breast to be larger than the
other……(I knew it wasn't my
imagination--or the alcohol.)
The custom of removing a young
woman's external sex organs at puberty
is still done in some cultures……(No,
I ain't touching that one. No
way.)
By the time she starts to
menstruate, a girl has reached most of
her adult height……(And my ex-wife
still thinks she's gonna be taller than
4'11". Ha!)
About 40% of boys develop
a small lump under one or both nipples
during puberty. This condition usually
disappears by itself in about a
year……(And if it didn't disappear,
there'd be a lot of teenage boys
spending a lot of time in the
bathroom.)
During puberty the
eyeballs get longer. This increases
nearsightedness, so that some teens need
to get glasses……(So are they
implying that I didn't go through
puberty until I was 23??)
And on the back of the
little booklet, way down at the bottom
in tiny print, is the disclaimer: This pamphlet is designed to trigger
discussion and is not intended to serve
as a comprehensive health message.
Yeah, I can just see a group of kids
sitting around seriously discussing
small lumps under their breasts……
Oh, and guess what? I just
now (after already coming up with the
title for this journal entry) logged on
to the web site of the company
that puts out this little pamphlet, ETR
Associates. And there, in bold living
color, was my little
pamphlet--Incredible Puberty
Facts--with a subtitle of "Strange
But True."
Indeed.
