THE CAT……Well, the kitty's improving, I
suppose. She's still got the Sneaky
Pees, but the color blends with my
off-white carpet much better than
before. Plus there's the twice-a-day
medication. But enough about my goddamn
cat. I'm boring myself here.
THE BALLPLAYING……Alright, this is much
better. Softball is pretty much in full
swing. My poor wracked and crippled
body wished the season didn't start with
like 12 games in 36 hours, but that's
the way it goes. We had a coed
pre-season tournament and a church
pre-season tournament on the same
weekend, so I was doing a lot of driving
and uniform changing.
The Reston/Herndon team (henceforth
known as Modell's) is looking a bit on
the weak side, but maybe the division
will be weak too. We're 1-0-1 so far in
the young season, although we didn't
deserve the tie. We should be 1-1.
My coed team (henceforth known as The
Hawks) began the season the other
night with a win and a loss. We
squeaked out the win and squeaked out
the loss as well. Hmm. The loss was to
our supposed archrivals, Fins. Yeah,
that's their name. Fins. As in Fins To
The Left. As in the Jimmy Buffett song.
Anyway, they're our archrivals because
everyone in our Group Of Friends Who
Play Ball either plays for us or plays
on Fins. And--if you're like Max--you
play for one and cheer for the other.
Odd, but fun.
The church team (henceforth known as
Fairlington) was rained out last Monday,
but we finished second in the big
pre-season tournament. Yeah, yeah, so
there were only 4 teams playing.
And The Thursday's team (henceforth
known as, um, Thursday's) hasn't started
yet because the umpire declared the
field unplayable due to Friday's rains.
So, in the spirit of Good
Sportsmanship, Kenny called the umpire a
fat ass as he was leaving the field.
God help us if we get that umpire
again.
As for my own personal playing,
well, my hitting is slowly coming along.
I crushed in coed, but the other night
for Modell's (had to check to see which
one that is, didn't ya?) I started the
season with two pitiful groundouts to
the pitcher. Ah well. But my fielding
has been very good. I dunno, I just
feel on top of my game out in leftfield.
Of course, as we always say, "There's
no 'I' in team." Well, unless you're in
Spain or Mexico. Then you'd be on un
equipe…or is it una equipe?
Whatever.
And on that note, enough about
softball…….
THE JOB……Motivation: zero. Firings:
zero. Yearly Bonus: zero. Watching a
customer smack into the malfunctioning
automatic doors: priceless.
THE HOUSE……Still standing, for now. The
Barnster's been talking about buying a
place with his girlfriend Be (henceforth
pronounced "Bay"--seriously), but that
may not happen for a while. But when it
does, I'm gonna need me a new roomie.
Sad sad sad. But the bright side is
that maybe I can secretly pack the cat
when he moves out. Hmm……
THE PALS……Alright, let's see now, what's
new with my friends? My one true single
pal Matt is gonna stay down in Lynchburg
for another year (idiot), Roy and Sandra
are still married……and……well, that's
about it. I'm sure there's more that's
new with my moronic friends, but I'm
lazy and you're apathetic.
THE MISCELLANEOUS……The Caps lost in the
playoffs, I'm still smoking way too
much, people are strange, the Padres are
just teasing me, I paid off half my
credit cards, all is quiet on New Year's
Day, I finally put pictures up in my
bedroom, I could care less about Elian,
the sky is crying, we're having another
Wine Gulping Party in May, I need to cut
the grass, and I did it my way.
(THE BRAIN……Suddenly on autopilot.)
