Since
I don’t have any steady income at this point in my life, I
figured it would be the perfect time to start an expensive new
hobby. And since
yachting requires deep water and polo requires horses (both of
which I’m scared of), I decided that golf would be a good idea.
Stupid, stupid, stupid dumb boy.
Well truthfully, it hasn’t been that bad at all.
I’ve played golf five times so far and each time I get
just a little bit better at what Mark Twain called “a good walk
spoiled.” And I’m
not good enough at it to get frustrated with it.
Yet. Actually,
“not good enough” is the wrong phrase here.
Try “truly awful.”
I can’t drive the ball off the tee, I can’t hit a ball
straight in the fairway, I can’t chip, I can’t putt, and I
certainly can’t avoid any and all stationary objects such as
trees, bushes, sand, and other players.
And if there’s a water hazard, my ball gets all excited
and readies itself for a nice dip.
I’ve actually taken to throwing a ball in the
water first before I hit one.
No, it hasn’t helped.
However, I am good at one thing, although it really has very
little to do with the grand, glorious game of golf......
I can drive the hell out of the cart.
Zoom zoom.
