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| Thursday
February 2 2006. |
IRS STANDS FOR "INCOME REALLY
SMALL."
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does it say about me when my biggest source of income is my federal tax
return?
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ALPO CAKE.
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DORK.
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I
usually have a very strict No Dorky Pet Birthday Parties Rule, but I waived
them for Beth and her mutt--just this once. Luke's whatever-th birthday
rolled around, so I threw him a little party (no, I didn't invite any
other pooches over, mainly because he doesn't have any friends--just
like us). I made up some party hats
that said "Bumpus Hound Birthday" on them and I bought him a
few easy-to-destroy squeaky toys and assorted chewy treats. I even made
him a cake by overturning a can of Alpo onto a plate (note for next
time: either have someone else blow out the candle or else don't light
it at all).
I'm not sure how much he cared, but I did make big points with the wifey.
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TIMBER!
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CONTRIBUTIONS.
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Question:
If a tree falls in your backyard in the middle of the night and you're
too drunk to hear it, does it make a sound?
Or: If a tree falls and takes out a big section of your neighbor's fence, will he
be pissed off?
(The answer is no, to both questions.)
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Speaking of
income, I
am proud to report that I am now a financially contributing member of
the Arnold household. Finally. The newsletter business has been quite
good in the past few months and I'm funneling a bit of the profits
towards bills and such. Of course, it's not a lot of money, but at least
I have value around here (beyond being the househusband, of course).
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5 MONTHS OUT.
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Timber!,
Dork, IRS Stands For "Income Really Small," Big Turd, Go Duke,
Contributions, 5 Months Out, and Alpo Cake. |
Uh oh. The Vegas Planning Committee
has convened. Don't worry: I'll spare everyone the gory details of what is
sure to be a drawn-out and ridiculous circus of show choices, hotel picks,
and trip dates.
Just like Barney said, all I need is a blackjack table, a cocktail waitress, and a seat.
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GO DUKE.
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BIG TURD.
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Just
to be obnoxious, I've adopted Duke as my new favorite college basketball
team. And since Bethy went to UNC, she gets quite annoyed with me when I
say things like, "Hey, there's my boy--J.J. Redick!"
Heh. I guess marriage hasn't made me a nicer person, has it?
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This
so-called "work
of art" is actually a hoax
and it's definitely on the outer edges of the world of conceptual art,
but it is quite amusing. If you're easily offended, I wouldn't click on
that first link, if I were you (the second one is okay, it's just an
article).
Yes, I suppose this is just an open invitation for more rudeness in the Comments
Section...
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2000-2006 by gja.
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