|
 I
know I've talked about the local Fox TV affiliate here in
DC before (and no, I didn't
have anything nice to say--and I still don't, for the most part), but I really gotta
give a shout-out to a guy who's quickly becoming one
of my all-time favorite reporters: Roby Chavez.
See, Beth and I laugh quite a bit at Roby (it
rhymes with "Robbie", not with the big desert in Asia or with the ex-punter from the Miami Dolphins--go
ahead, look it up), but we laugh at him
because, well, we like him. And we feel bad for the guy. I guess you could say we laugh at him in a we-think-you're-getting-the-shaft sort of way.
Why do we think he gets the shaft? Well, for a couple of reasons. First of all, Fox 5 always has Roby out in the
field doing live reports during their 10 o'clock broadcast. And he's out
there no matter what the weather and no matter how freakin' cold it is.
Poor Ol' Roby. Whenever he comes on, Beth and I start chanting, "Free
Roby Cha-vez! Free Roby Cha-vez!" like we're some kind of rejects
from the 60's. But we just want him to be able to
report from the Fox studios--or at least someplace inside once in
awhile. I mean, c'mon, does he need to be outside in the freezing rain
reporting from some crime scene at which a crime happened like 12 HOURS
EARLIER and is now just a DARK AND DESERTED DEAD-END STREET? I think
not.
Second, there's the whole issue with his name.
His last name is Chavez. And his first name is...Roby? Yeah,
sure. A nice Hispanic name, huh? His name is Roberto. Not Roby. Not Rob. Not Bobby.
Roberto. Do you think he started going by "Roby" because some idiot
station manager told
him that people would accept him better on TV news if he had a more
American-sounding name (then again, "Roby" isn't exactly normal in
itself)? Of course, this is just one of our stupid theories. For all we
know, he may love his name.
So anyway, we've grown to like Poor Ol' Roby.
Our dream is for Roby to finally lose it one day--when he's on the air
live.
ANCHOR WILL THOMAS (in the cozy and warm Fox 5
studio): "And now let's go to Southeast DC where our very own Roby Chavez
is live at the scene of that horrific crime. Roby?"
ROBY CHAVEZ (without gloves on): "Look Will, this is ridiculous. This
crime happened three days ago, for chrissakes. What the hell am I doing out
here?"
WILL (sipping hot chocolate): "Excuse me?"
ROBY (snow
accumulating on his head): "I said this is ridiculous! And how come you
get to be in the studio every night and I have to freeze my cajones
off?"
WILL (warming his hands by the Fox 5 fireplace):
"Uh...Roby, I'm not sure if I--"
ROBY (ear falls off from frostbite): "AND
MY NAME IS ROBERTO! ROBERTO, GODDAMN IT!"
Heh. That would certainly make my night. Hell,
it would make my year.
But after Googling for a picture of him to post
here, I found out a little more about Poor Ol' Roby--and what I found
out made me really respect the guy. When Roby was with another station
down in Atlanta a few years back, he
publicly revealed (in a speech at a
conference of gay and lesbian business execs) that he was HIV-positive.
Wow. Good on him. Now that's cojones. |
2000-2006