A lot of people say that they don't watch the evening news or read the daily paper because it depresses them. Well, I believe that's because they're going about it all wrong. See, if you look close enough, you can find all sorts of irony, ineptitude, and blatant stupidity in the news to keep you laughing for hours. It's funnier than the goddamn comics page, that's for sure.

All these stories were culled from one day's worth of news……

1. This is the last few paragraphs from an AP news story on Richard Williams, father of the bead-headed tennis twerps Venus and Serena Williams:

Williams, who has said many times his tennis player daughters were destined for stardom, told NBC he felt very emotional about them both reaching the Wimbledon semifinal. "The emotion that comes behind it is unbelievable. I can't explain it," he said. The sisters have played tennis since they were toddlers and Williams said his most important advice was to make them believe in themselves. "It just goes to show what can be done when a family pulls together," said Williams, who has three other daughters aside from Venus and Serena.

Three other daughters? How much love do you think they get around the Williams house?

2. Here's a story on how flight attendants demonstrated earlier in the week against unruly passengers:

Unions representing flight attendants and ground crews declared a "day of action" against passengers whose misbehavior ranges from being noisy to becoming downright violent. As recently as Tuesday, a Continental Airlines flight returned to Anchorage, Alaska, after a passenger was accused of throwing a can of beer at a flight attendant and biting a pilot on the arm.

Which begs the question: What the hell was a passenger doing in the cockpit anyway?

3. And finally, this just in from Berlin:

The German parliament offered a formal apology to Nazi-era slave and forced laborers Thursday as it passed a bill setting up a $5 billion compensation fund that should begin making payments to aging victims this year. Recognizing what they said was Germany's "unmistakable responsibility," lawmakers approved a resolution seeking forgiveness from victims "for that which the Germans did to them," namely "the taking away of their rights, displacement, maltreatment and exploitation." It called the compensation "a long overdue humanitarian and financial gesture" that will help make good on a "historic and moral duty." The vote on the compensation fund bill was 556-42.

Forty-two against? Hello?

Jesus……