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| Wednesday
July 7 2004. |
THE LOSER'S UPDATE.
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It's July 7th. My Padres are in first place with a record of 46-37 and
have a 1-game lead over the Dodgers.
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DYNAMIC DOGS.
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MOVING TARGET PRACTICE.
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Why
are people obsessed with dressing up their pets and why am I obsessed
with posting those pictures on this weblog?
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Well,
our Annual 4th Of July Fireworks Display And Extravaganza went off just as we had planned: a
few of us shot bottle rockets at Max as he hid behind a tree in the
backyard and then I nailed Beth in the leg with a misfiring firecracker.
There's nothing like a bunch of drunks playing with explosives in the
dark. Dumbasses.
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DEAD LIMBS.
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My neighbor Lois is having some dead limbs removed from a tree at the
far end of her lot. My question is, won't
those limbs just fall naturally? There's nothing below that tree, so why
pay money for that? Seems to me it would be a lot cheaper and easier
just to pick the damn things up. Then again, that's just me. Lazy, cheap
me.
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RESERVE THIS.
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Moving
Target Practice, 94, Dynamic Dogs, I Charge Half That For Live Ones, Reserve
This, The Loser's Update, and Dead Limbs. |
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Beth and I went to see "Fahrenheit 9/11" last night and each
ticket cost $11.50. Yeah, that's right: $11.50. Why such a high price?
Well, apparently this theatre has what they call a "director's hall
showing." For the extra $2.50, you get the following
perks: a reserved seat, an usher shows you to your seat, and you get a moist
towelette.
Well, let me just say that people don't want reserved seats. I believe there's a certain minor pleasure in finding two good seats on the aisle or snagging that last row in the back.
Reserved? Bah. Sit where you'd like.
And I'm not going to comment on the moist towelette, except to say that it wasn't an X-rated film that we saw.
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I CHARGE HALF THAT FOR LIVE ONES.
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94.
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the You Can Buy That? files......Wow your friends and
houseguests by purchasing your very own electronic fireflies for $98.
According to the website, these little guys have been "specifically engineered to look as realistic as possible and to fly in a random, arbitrary, motion."
All I have to say
is God bless capitalism, the internet, and people with extra cash lying
around who would buy monkey shit if they saw it at half price.
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I did the absolute worst thing I could do on a golf course: I shot a
blistering (no, I mean literally--I have blisters on my hand) score or 94. Oh yeah, I'm
pretty happy with the score, but now I have this
delusion that I should be shooting that score every time I play (rather
than the 105 or 110 that I normally shoot). Dumbass
again...
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2000-2004 by gja.
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