<<  Previous Entry

Next Entry  >>

Our Reston coed team is supposed to play in the end-of-season tournament on Monday and Saturday of next week, but we've got a slight personnel problem: we have no personnel.

And that's a problem.

The preliminary rounds are slated for Monday night and we're plenty-fine on players for that night. At last count, I believe we have seven or eight guys and seven girls for Monday (you need a minimum of five each, otherwise you have to play shorthanded in the field, which is a joy). Everyone on the roster except for one person said they'll be there. Nice.

The following Saturday, however, is a different story altogether. Six people are out of town (including Justin, the coach, and yours truly, the general manager), three have to work (stupid restaurant people), one is a maid of honor in a wedding (where are the priorities?), and one simply has better things to do than spend a lovely Saturday afternoon on a softball field. So, doing the math, that leaves us with a grand total of three guys and two girls for the semi-final and championship rounds. Five players would be fine--if we were in a basketball tournament.

No bueño.

Sure, I could probably recruit some people from my church team or from the other coed team I play on, but there's a problem with that too. This year the league office may start doing roster checks at the tournament. And if a player isn't on the roster, that player can't play and the coach gets tossed out of the tournament (poor Matt--who volunteered to coach--wouldn't know what hit him). Yes, we can legally add two players to the roster just for the tournament, but that still would give us only seven players for Saturday and that ain't nearly enough.

So, are we going to respectfully decline to participate in the tournament and then--in the spirit of sportsmanship and fair play--gracefully wish the other teams good luck?

Not a chance in the world.

We're gonna show up Monday night, put our A-team on the field, kick the shit out of one of the bottom-feeding teams (we have the #1 seed), and then wave goodbye. Enjoy the loser's bracket, suckers!

You know, it's really surprising more teams don't hate us.