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The Hanger Wars have ended.
For the longest time, Beth and I had
been having a war over who gets the better hangers to hang their clothes
on. Beth comes from a dry cleaning background while I'm more of an
anti-dry cleaning man myself (OK, I'm not really against it, but since I
only have one suit, dry cleaning isn't a high priority in my life), so
she often brings home her dry cleaning on those shitty wire jobbies that
are wrapped in paper. Despite the fact we both hate those wire hangers,
they always end up in the closet and laundry room (instead of in the
trash, where they belong). Both of us would much
rather use those spiffy no-creases-in-the-shoulders plastic tubular
hangers, but the wire hangers were multiplying and the plastic
hangers seemed to be dwindling.
And that's how the Hanger Wars started.
At first, I thought I was the only one who coveted the primo hangers,
but it quickly became pretty clear that she wanted them too. I'd go
downstairs to do my laundry and find a bunch of empty wire hangers--all
strategically located in a can't-miss place--while all of her recently
washed clothes were neatly hung on the plastic hangers. I, in turn,
began to horde unused plastic hangers at the very back end of the
closet, behind that ugly Christmas sweater from 1987. It got to the
point where I would secretly plan to do my laundry before she did
(she liked to do laundry on the weekends, so I began doing it on
Thursdays and Fridays). And it almost got to the idiotic point of taking
the other person's clothes off of a plastic hanger and then re-hanging
it on a wire hanger. Almost, but not quite. Hey, we do have some
ethics, you know.
Now I know what you're thinking: "Hey, stupids, why don't you just buy
more plastic hangers?" Well, yeah, that sounds like an easy solution,
but neither of us ever remembered to pick some up when we were at CVS or
wherever. Honestly, I only thought about hangers once a week (which, I
know, is probably once a week too often).
But, as luck would have it, I happened to be searching online for a new
closet organizer one day and.....*ding!*.....I remembered the hangers.
And yes, I bought a ton of them. A case of 144, to be exact.
So now--finally--there's peace between the Bethians and the Glennites.
Well, at least until Beth figures out that my super-deluxe fluffy pillow
is ten times awesomer than her cruddy flatso pillow...
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