<<  Previous Entry

Next Entry  >>

Against my better judgment, I've been feeding the squirrels. I know, not very bright, but I'm a softie when it comes to animals.

See, I bought a bag of peanuts last week and I've been tossing them out to the random squirrels who flit about in our backyard. Beth refers to it as Nut Club.

At first, they ran away ("Why is that big white human throwing rocks at us?!"). Then, they kind of figured it out ("Hey! Look! Food is falling out of the sky!"). And finally, they learned ("Excuse me, but I'm going to sit on your deck until you come outside and give us that peanutty goodness."). Now, one of them actually runs up onto the deck when I come out for my first cigarette of the day. Note to self: Wear shoes when going outside because a pinky toe looks a bit too much like a peanut.

After a few days, a couple of other animals wanted to be in Nut Club, namely a blue jay and a slightly overbearing crow (both of them like to sit on the rain gutter above the deck with their beaks open and stare at me with one googly eye). And, of course, I can't help but to feed them too, although I only fed the deranged crow once. Gotta draw the line somewhere.

Am I inviting disaster here? Will the day come where one of the squirrels sprints into the house when I open the sliding glass door? Will I wake up one morning to see 50 squirrels with angry red eyes and twitching tails lined up on the deck railing demanding nuts? Will Crazy Crow swoop down and peck me right in my bald spot? Yeah, probably.

So maybe it's time to disband Nut Club before it gets out of control.

And clearly--CLEARLY--I need to get some friends.