Alright, here's what I want: I
want one--just one--of my teams to win a
championship. Is that too much to ask for? And I'm
not talking about winning a division or a conference or winning
a tournament, I'm talking about a national goddamn
championship. No less.
I've been a sports fan since, well,
about age 7 when I heard my first world series on the radio in
1975. Reds vs. Red Sox. My still-forming little
brain decided that I like the name "Red Sox," so I
wanted them to win. Reds win in 7 games. Damn.
And it's been the same ever since. Twenty-six years and
still nothing (thank god, though, I didn't turn out to be a Red
Sox fan, although their futility would fit me nicely).
Beth and I were discussing my history
of losing yesterday (well, okay, we weren't really discussing
it, but rather I was yelling at her because Virginia lost--it's
not her fault, but since she's a Carolina fan, she was an easy
target) and
she brought up the fact that I did win a softball league
championship. But that's not the same. I want a national
championship. Just once, I want to be able to
say that my team is the best. I don't know what
that feels like.
Let's take a look at my teams and at
how they've fared since I've been following them:
* The San Diego Padres - I started following them in 1976 and
since then they've had only 5 winning seasons, only 3 playoffs
appearances, only 2 World Series appearances, and have a stellar
record of
1-8 in World Series games. That all boils down to 25 years
of losing. National championships: zero.
* The San
Diego Chargers - They had some good seasons in the early
80's, but since I've been a fan of them, they've only been to
one Super Bowl. And they got crushed. National
championships: zero.
*The Virginia Cavaliers (football) -
Every
year, they go 7-4 and get to go to a bowl game. But they usually
end up in some B-rate bowl such as the Henry's Auto
Insurance-Monistat III Bowl and they get hammered by 35 points
by some mid-level school on national television. National
championships: zero.
*The Virginia Cavaliers (basketball)
- After yesterday's loss to Gonzaga to end their season, I
don't want to even talk about them. National
championships: zero.
*The Washington Capitals - Right now, they're my best
shot, since the Caps are having a great season. However,
I'm sure they'll choke in the playoffs as usual. I've
been following them for only about 6 or 7 years, but they've
only been to one Stanley Cup Final. And, naturally, they
were embarrassed. National championships: zero.
*The Washington Wizards/Bullets -
True, they won a
championship back in the 70's, but this was long before I moved
to the D.C. area. I've been a fan since the late-eighties
and they've pretty much blown dead bear all along.
National championships: zero.
*The Los Angeles Clippers -
Ugh.
Because they started in San Diego, I got hooked on them.
The Gods of Spectator Sports must be laughing at me for this
one. National championships: less than zero.
There is, however, one sport that I do particularly well at:
soccer. DC United has won two championships, the Virginia
men's soccer team has a couple of national titles under their
belt, and back in the early 80's, the San Diego Sockers (indoor)
won 5 straight MISL championships. Why my good luck with
soccer? Maybe it's supposed to make up for the other
sports, but it doesn't. I'm just not that big of a soccer
fan. I'd trade all my championships in soccer for one
championship in another sport. Please, just one.
So the next time you're watching Sports Center and see that the
Padres were eliminated from playoff contention in July or that the Caps were blown
out by the Penguins in 4 games or that the Clippers are in the
midst of a 36-game losing streak, think of me. And be
thankful you
have your Yankees or your Duke Blue Devils or your
Florida State footb
