Welcome to Really Toothless Fairfax for tonight's 12-round 3-day championship prizefight. And now, entering the ring are our two contestants for the evening!


IN THIS CORNER………

………Weighing in at 57 and one-half pounds, a native of Centreville, Virginia, whose last bout was a 3-round knockout of Minky The Stuffed Chimp, with a record of 12-4-1, wearing the brown furry trunks……

The challenger………Teddy "I'm A Spastic Dog! I'm A Spastic Dog" Krobath!

AND IN THIS CORNER………

………Weighing in at 9 pounds 4 ounces, a native of Fairfax, Virginia, whose last bout was a 12-round decision versus a stray bug found in the basement, with a record of 8-0-1, wearing no trunks at all……

The undisputed ultra-super-completely-lightweight champion of the house……Meowy "I Piss In Your General Direction" Cowy!

I'm dog sitting for Max and Laurie this weekend. So much for sleeping.