Cicadas On The Back Deck Watch:

  For those of you who aren't blessed with living in the eastern part of the U.S., you're missing out on the Great Cicada Plague of 2004. These inch-long critters come out of the ground once every 17 years (which begs the question: what do they do in the ground for that long?) and pretty much overrun any wooded areas. Millions of 'em! Fortunately, these red-eyed uglies will be around only for a month or two. But until they're gone, this biblical plague of poor-flying bastards is creating havoc. I can't go out on the back deck without being bombarded by one every 30 seconds. And the mating noises they make are beyond annoying. With hundreds of thousands of them humming and buzzing at once, it sounds like the phasers on the original Star Trek. It can be quite deafening. Of course, Luke is loving life. He keeps whining at the back door to go out and have a few cicada snacks. He's eating them like they're frickin' potato chips.