I have a small, odd confession to make. Sometimes I hear things in my head. Things that shouldn't be there. Maybe it's not that odd. Or, maybe it's not that small.

I'm not really sure about anyone else, but I've found that I have four distinct states of consciousness. Three out of the four are fairly run-of-the-mill and I'm sure almost everyone experiences them in roughly the same manner. But the last state of consciousness is where things get a bit dicey with my psyche.

The first and most prevalent is the obvious state of Awakeness. From the time I wake up in the morning to the time I lie back down in the bed at night, my brain is running. And usually running at full speed. I'd say fifty percent of my time is spent on fairly useless thoughts such as making sure I schedule people to run the one-hour photo at work and knowing what color jersey to wear for the church team. Forty percent of my thoughts are on totally useless things such as how far ahead should I switch lanes before the turn onto Gallows Road and why the hair on the back of my neck grows faster than the hair on my head. And the last ten percent? Well, that's anything you might read here.

The second state is Sleeping. Pure downtime. Nothing is accomplished when you sleep. My dreams are usually vague, but the colors are kinda bright. Mostly, the dream content is normal, but occasionally I'll wake up with some very strange dream residue in my head. Like the time I dreamt I owned a fast-food franchise called Chirpel Gerbil Burgers. Enough said.

The third state is the state of Drunkenness. Ah yes. When I drink, I need to block out a rather large chunk of time because I'm pretty much useless when I drink; I can't play ball, I can't work, I can't divide fractions, and physical activity is definitely off-limits (well, most physical activity). The state of drunkenness is all instinct and pleasure seeking, which--I suppose--has its purpose. And thank god I'm not any good at writing when I'm drunk (like I'm any good when I'm sober). If I found that I could write better when I was plastered, it wouldn't be a good scene.

Finally comes the last state. The Drifting. It's when I start to slip off to sleep, but haven't quite reached total unconsciousness yet. The brain is still functioning, but it's wandering like mad.

And this is where my personal ride begins.

At times, when I'm entering that stage of drifting, I hear a sound in my head. Sometimes it's a voice. Not really my voice, but very much my voice. Usually, it's just one word. Oftentimes it's my name being called out and other times I hear a command. Hey. Don't. Great. Look. Reach. Sometimes it's a noise such as a splintering of glass or a slamming of a door. No, I don't have any demons inside my head telling me to Rise Up And Slaughter; I know it's only my subconscious, but that doesn't explain it for me. And one other thing: whether it's a voice or a noise, it's always loud. Very fucking loud. It's so loud inside my head that I feel it just as much as I hear it.

And do you know what? I like it. Even though I jump about 3 feet out of the bed when it happens, that voice or that sound has become a sort of warped comfort to me. And I think that is what truly scares me.

Alright, I'm freaking myself out here. Let's move on.