My biggest concern with my writing is
that I don't like the majority of my work. Yes, that's
quite a big concern, isn't it? Well, I guess it's something
I'll have to overcome. Maybe my lack of pride in my work is
just a matter of confidence, rather than a self-critique of my
writing ability. If not, I've made a huge error in quitting
my day job.
There is, however, one
piece of work that I am happy with and that I don't mind showing
off. It's a speech I wrote for Max and Laurie's wedding in
1999. I worked on it for about 3 weeks and honed it until I
was not only satisfied with it, but also proud of it. And
despite stumbling through the speech when I recited it
(I think I looked up from my notes maybe three times), quite a few
people came up to me at the reception and complimented me on
it--including one gentlemen who said that his company was looking
for a few good speechwriters. I nodded and thanked him, but
I never followed up on his opening which could have led to a
freelance opportunity. I think at that point of the
reception I was too drunk to hold a conversation.
Anyway, here's the speech, for what it's worth...
Tomorrow morning, when we all start another week back at work and
back at home, we could very easily just look back on this wedding
as just another wedding. But for the sake of these two people that we all love very
much, we can’t do that.
Although
the wedding day itself is not the important day in a marriage, it
is the appropriate day for us—the friends, the family—to also
make a commitment. A
commitment to Max and Laurie and their future.
For the past 6 months or so, we’ve all been anticipating today.
We’ve all been looking forward to it.
And all that anticipation has built up into very powerful
emotions—for them and for us.
And at this moment right now, every one of us here would
run through a wall for Max and Laurie. But, after we make our toasts, after we’re done with the
reception, after everything is taken down, what will we get out of
this day? Just some
fond memories and a thank-you note?
Or will we continue to run through that wall for them?
This is a call to arms. A call for support of two people who are not only announcing
their commitment to the world, but are also asking for our help in
making their marriage last and making their marriage work.
By accepting their invitation to be here, we have also
accepted a duty and a responsibility to support them and their
marriage.
This day probably won’t change our lives.
But for Max and Laurie, today seals their love for each
other. And today will
also alter the nature of their relationship.
It shouldn’t, but it will.
A wedding can very easily complicate a marriage.
And that’s why they will need all of us to be there for
them—both of them. One
of these two people may be your best friend, your brother, your
daughter. But
remember, that relationship you have with Max, that relationship
you have with Laurie, is now plural.
We need to support them both, and support them both
equally.
The tendency may be to back off from a couple once they’re
married, but Max and Laurie can’t afford us to do that.
It’s said that the first year of marriage is the most
difficult year. But
what about the second year?
The
fifth year? The
thirtieth year? Can
those be difficult years too?
Absolutely. But
the important question is this: Where will we be in the second
year, the fifth year, the thirtieth year?
Still running through that wall?
It’s
nearly impossible for two people to shut out the rest of the
world. Outside
influences will always weave their way into a marriage.
Co-Workers. Family.
Friends. Strangers.
The media. And
the truth is, quite often such influences aren’t positive.
Subtle expectations of having children.
Gossip about an alleged affair.
And the pressure of having a good marriage in the face of
difficult odds. The power of all of these outside forces can’t
be underestimated. But
out of all of the influences, the biggest impact can come from
us—the 75 most important people in their lives.
And we have the ability to make a strong, concerted, and
positive affect on their marriage in many different ways.
Try to get to know them both equally.
Take the time to make a simple, unexpected phone call.
Put yourself in their shoes, whether you’re married or
not. And, above all,
respect their dreams and respect their visions.
There’s
a very fine line between support and outright intervention, and
between help and hindrance.
But
we need to take a risk and walk that line because although love is
fairly common, true love is not.
True love is revolutionary.
And Max and Laurie have that revolutionary love.
Do not let them lose it.
And do not forget what you see and what you feel here
today. Thank you.
