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| Tuesday
October 26 2004. |
FEARLESS.
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| My
Fearless Election
Prediction: Bush wins with the election by garnering 279 electoral votes
(to Kerry's 259, or whatever it is), including the battleground states
of Florida and Ohio.
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CART CRASH.
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BOY VS. GIRL.
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I
was in a cart crash over the weekend. Yes, I said cart, not car.
See, Matt, Beth, Maria, and I were playing a round of golf on Sunday and having a jolly time.
On one particular hole, Maria hit about three balls into the water so
she (finally) decided to take a drop on the other side of the pond.
Smart girl. Well, as Beth and Maria swung around the pond in their cart,
Matt and I followed, chatting aimlessly about how cool it would be to
live in a house near a golf course. And then we both turned around to
look at a particular house that was right on the golf course and--
POW!!
Maria and Beth had stopped and we smacked right into the back of
them. At full speed. No brakes.
Fortunately, no one got hurt, but our cart was pretty mangled. The front right tire was bent out at about a 45 degree angle. We
thought the cart was drivable, but it just went "RRRRRRRRRRRRRR" every
time that tire rubbed against the body of the cart. The steering wheel
wouldn't even turn. Whoops.
Needless to say, they clubhouse
guy wasn't very happy with us. When he brought us a new cart so we could
finish the round, the guy scowled and muttered something about us being more careful.
Of course, we were laughing so hard snot was coming out of our ears.
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Last week, a male softball acquaintance of ours was arrested for
allegedly videotaping sexual acts with a 16-year-old boy. Although they
were supposedly in a consensual relationship, the guy is in his 50's
and, by law, the taping is child pornography. All of us
softballers were
appropriately stunned and disgusted, but the news and our reaction to it
raised an interesting question, which I posed to one of my friends:
Would we have felt any different if the victim was a 16-year-old
girl?
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EX-EXPOS.
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NEWSFLASH.
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Oh,
by the way, I am excited about having the Expos here in DC Land.
However, I really do feel guilty for getting someone else's team.
I mean, I know there aren't a whole lot of Expo fans out there (the
phrase "Expo Nation" just doesn't work), but they do exist.
And they do love their team.
Just imagine that your hometown team moved away.
How would you feel?
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Newsflash: Little Mikey O. has been outed as a closet Ben Affleck fan.
Apparently, he even has Gigli on DVD.
Now that's funny...
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JUST WONDERING DEPARTMENT.
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Fearless,
Just Wondering Department, Cart Crash, I Broke Google, Boy vs. Girl, User
Error, Ex-Expos, and Newsflash. |
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This just in from the Just Wondering Department (which is right down the
hall from the Overused Parentheses Department):
How can a team (the Florida Gators) fire a coach (Ron Zook) in
mid-season (October) but allow him to finish coaching the last five
games?
Athletic Director: "Sorry, Ron, but we're going to have to let you go."
Zook: "Oh, I see. Well, I guess I'll clean out my desk then."
Athletic
Director: "No, no. You can stay on as coach until the end of the season. Then you're sacked."
Zook:
Athletic Director: "But try to win as many games as you can, okay?"
Zook: "Um, sure."
Athletic Director: "Oh, and we're going to need your office on the 14th, if you don't mind. We need to interview a few people, for, uh, a groundskeeper position that we have open."
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I BROKE GOOGLE.
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USER ERROR.
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I
did a Google image search for a picture of a crashed golf cart and one
of the pictures Google returned was the picture shown on the right (your
other right, Barney).
Maybe it's just me, but I don't see golf, a cart, or a crash in that picture.
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2000-2004 by gja.
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