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Best Line - After blowing through quite a bit of money
at one particular blackjack table that we were all sitting at, Beth
stood up to go to the bathroom. Since I didn't want her to lose her spot
to someone else, I told her to leave some of her chips at the table. She
glared at me and said, "I already did." (Best Line, Runner Up: A lady at
a blackjack table asked me if I was in the military. I responded, "No,
I'm naturally bald.") Best Moment
- Five of us went out for dinner at a fairly nice restaurant
and we all decided to order their special fixed-price meal which
consisted of unlimited quantities of different meats, appetizers,
side dishes, bread, etc. We placed our drink orders and then Billy
A.--who is a big dude, to put it nicely--ordered salad. His salad came,
he munched it down and then they brought us the entrees, various
side dishes and the rest of the meal. Halfway through eating, we began to
wonder if all of us were supposed to get salads. So we asked the
waitress the next time she came by. With a confused look, she pointed at
Billy's now-empty salad plate and said, "Um, that
was supposed to be for the whole table." Zing! Billy, to his credit,
took our hysterical laughing in stride. (Best Moment, Runner Up: At the
Cirque du Soleil show, Barney got irritated with a couple of guys
sitting directly in front of him. They were discussing--loudly--the
merits of some software program or other such nerdy thing. Barney leaned
forward directly between them and said, in his best sarcastically
disdainful voice, "Really?")
Best Drinker - Beth, Barney and I decided to go have
drinks at the bar at Mandalay Bay rather than blowing more money at the
tables. Barney and I were drinking Long Island Ice Teas and Beth was
drinking White Russians. Every time we ordered another round, Beth's
drink would come out first and she would suck it down before our drinks
even showed up. (Best Drinker, Runner Up: Barney seemed to believe that
a Seven & Seven is called that because you're supposed to drink seven of
them every seven minutes.) Best Gambler
- It's a tie. Justin and Tina both won
money at just about every table they sat down at. They literally
couldn't lose. Their winnings covered the cost of their entire trip and
they upgraded to first class on the flight home--where they ended up
sitting next to Ted Frickin' Koppel. (Best Gambler, Runner Up: Joan,
because she barely gambled at all. At one point, she decided to go up to
her room to read the newspaper rather than play blackjack with us. Good
move.)
Best Decision - After two straight brutal days of
losing at blackjack, I decided to switch over to 3-card poker. Winner!
Well, maybe not a winner, but I was pretty much even for the rest of the
trip. (Best Decision, Runner Up: It was our last evening in Vegas.
Should we gamble a little more or should we call it a night and go to
bed? Yeah, we made the right choice.)
Worst Sports Bet - The Philadelphia Eagles. All I
needed to win my $100 parlay (and pocket $600) was for the Eagles to win
by more than 14-1/2 points against the Raiders. Not only did they not
cover the spread, they didn't even win. C'mon, the Raiders?
Jeez. (Worst Sports Bet, Runner Up: Beth picked Wisconsin over #11 Iowa.
"You might as well tear that ticket up right now," I told her.)
Worst Gambler - Since Mike P. was kind of secretive
about his losses, we gotta give this one Barney. Once again. For five
straight days, I don't think he sat down at any table and won money. And
since we probably averaged between eight and ten different tables each
day...well, you can do the math. (Worst Gambler, Runner Up: Yes, that
would be me. The ATM machine is my friend.)
Worst Decision - Beth, Barney and I deciding to go to
the aforementioned bar at Mandalay Bay. Okay, technically, maybe going
to the bar wasn't the worst decision in itself, but me picking up the
bar tab sure as hell was. I should have known that mixed drinks at a bar
in Vegas cost 15 bucks each. (Worst Decision, Runner Up: I didn't feel
like going to see Cirque du Soleil because I didn't really want to waste
$125 on a show. Instead, while pretty much everyone else went to see the
show, I sat down and played some blackjack. Fiscally responsible, that's
me.) Worst Moment - Getting off the plane and coming home.
Boo! Vacation over! (Worst Moment, Runner Up: Getting on the
damn plane to go out to Vegas. Goodbye, money!) |
2000-2009