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| Wednesday
September 22 2004. |
TRASH LOVE.
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The award for the Best Line At The Beach has to go to Hammy. We were all
hanging out and drinking on the deck of our rental house when one of the
construction guys who was working on the house next door came outside to
toss something in the dumpster. Hammy pointed to Vicky and yelled down
to the guy, "Hey dude, wanna meet a single girl? If you're throwing
out trash, you're good enough for her."
Absolutely priceless.
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ONE BIG VIGNETTE.
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SHHHH.
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THE DAY.
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You
know what I miss from my old weblog format? The Vignettes series.
Then again,
I think I do about eight or nine vignettes in every entry. Help! My whole life is a vignette!
Heh.
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I was
going to comment on the fact that my Yahoo! stock has been up lately and
that I've made a whole (cough cough) $17, but today it dropped again. It
seems to do quite a bit better when I totally ignore it.
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Since
I didn't see Beth at all yesterday, excuse me while I tell her about my
day:
No, nothing exciting. Did a lot of little marketing
stuff, composed a few emails to publications about advertising rates,
did a marketing budget (which is zero), researched my next death penalty
article, etc. Talked to Barney (he's fine, nothing new) and didn't have any
real exciting emails. You like the chicken? I made up that recipe.
Nothing thrilling with ball last night. I hit well and we won, so that
was nice. And how was your day?
Okay, I'm done. Thanks. We now return you to our irregularly schedule broadcast.
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DISHWASHER.
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Sample Progression of Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder:
1. Allowing the dishes to pile up in the sink, with no concern
about cleanliness and thus no thought of ever cleaning them.
2. Doing the dishes once a week due to mild concern about cleanliness.
3. Putting one's dirty dishes into the dishwasher immediately following
a meal or other use.
4. Putting someone else's dirty dishes
into the dishwasher immediately following a meal or other use.
5. Avoiding the use of too many dishes so as not to fill up the dishwasher unnecessarily.
6. Utilizing a rough pattern of how the dishes are arranged in the
dishwasher (glasses on the top, plates on the bottom, silverware in the
utensils holder, etc).
7. Utilizing a strict pattern of how
the dishes are arranged in the dishwasher (glasses on the top left,
plates on the bottom left, silverware spread out evenly in the utensils
holder, etc).
8. Utilizing an overly-rational pattern of how
the dishes are arranged in the dishwasher (glasses segregated by
frequency of use, plates segregated by color, silverware segregated by
type as well as style, etc).
9. Arrangement of dirty dishes
and status of dishwasher becomes a constant concern that begins to
consume thought processes and thus other daily activities.
10.
Arrangement of dirty dishes and status of dishwasher becomes central
focus in one's life, leading to mental and/or physical stress, anguish, and
impairment.
Just for the record, I'm currently at step #7.
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HUMANITARIAN.
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On
A List, Shhhh, One Big Vignette, Humanitarian, Dishwasher, Freakin'
Out, Trash Love, and The Day. |
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My new least favorite commercial is the one for the US Army:
It shows a high school kid going around collecting uneaten food from his cafeteria
and then giving it to a homeless person. Then it cuts to several years
later and shows the same kid (now in the Army) in charge of dropping
airlifts of food to (supposed) foreign countries in need of
international aid. The voiceover says, "We've been waiting for you."
Yeah. Sure. If you want to be a humanitarian, the military is the way to
go.
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FREAKIN' OUT.
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ON A LIST.
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Speaking
of disorders, I'd like to add Driving In Heavy Rain to
the list of things that freak me out. On the way down to Nags Head last
week, we were driving on I-95 in a torrential downpour and it bothered
me so much that I had to pull over for a rest stop. Not only were my
hands shaking, but I thought I was going to pass out, despite the fact
that it was 55 degrees outside.
So to recap: deep dark water, heights, confined spaces, elevators, crowds,
flying, and now driving in the rain. Fucking great.
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I'm wondering how to go about getting tickets for the presidential
debates. Wouldn't that be cool? However, I'm sure it's all invite-only.
But I'd love to be there. Live history.
Actually, come to think of it, there's no way they would let a guy like me in. See, back in my college days, I had the opportunity
to go hear President Reagan speak (post administration) and despite my
liberal leanings, I jumped at the chance. And out of 1,000 or so folks
there,
I think I was the only liberal. After every other sentence of his
speech, the entire audience would give him a standing ovation--except
me. I just sat in my seat with my arms crossed, shaking my head. Then,
after about 20 minutes of this, I noticed that several--and I mean
several--Secret Service agents were staring at me. Staring hard. I
couldn't get out of there fast enough after it was over. And now I'm
sure I'm on some list somewhere.
I guess I'll watch the debates on TV.
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2000-2004 by gja.
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